Bukola Yunisa, a Lagos-based entrepreneur and corporate worker, narrates how she was emotionally and financially scammed by a man who posed as a widower and property developer, betraying her trust while promising love, marriage, and a shared future
What do you do for a living?
I am an entrepreneur and also a 9–5 worker; I live in Lagos, Nigeria. I run several businesses alongside my corporate career. I consider myself very hardworking, disciplined, and focused on building a stable future. I dedicate most of my time to work and business, which sometimes makes me less social than most people.
Can you briefly explain how you met the man who scammed you?
What actually led to meeting Alex? That was the name he gave before I discovered his real identity. I call myself a jack of all trades because I venture into many businesses, anything I feel will bring profit. I also have a corporate job. So, I am always busy. I don’t go out much; I don’t attend parties. I am more of a homebody.
During a festive period, my family called me. They said I was not getting younger; I had just turned 34. They encouraged me to try giving a man a chance. They said that prolonged singleness could attract disrespect or emotional struggles, maybe even depression.
It was just family advice, but I listened. I thought, okay, where would I even meet a man with my busy schedule? But I told them I would consider it seriously.
One evening, I was scrolling through TikTok and saw couples talking about how they met on dating apps and eventually got married. Their stories seemed real and happy. That inspired me to try online dating.
I downloaded Tinder and stayed there for about a week or two. I almost deleted the app because I didn’t understand how it worked and wasn’t sure I liked it. That was when I matched with Alex.
What year was that?
That was early 2024.
How did he present himself, his job, lifestyle, and personal background?
He introduced himself as a property developer and a single father. He said his wife had passed away, so he was a widower. He told me his son was studying abroad in the United Kingdom.
He also said he was not really active on social media. He is originally from Ondo State and lives in Ondo town. That’s all he shared about himself initially.
He presented himself as someone responsible and family-oriented. He spoke about his losses and how he wanted to love again. At the time, it seemed genuine. His tone, his demeanour, everything about him made him seem trustworthy.
How did the first meeting happen?
He came to Lagos on February 17, 2024. We met at a hotel in Omole Phase 1. The meeting felt calm and respectful. He spoke seriously about his life, future plans, and marriage. At that point, nothing seemed alarming.
You mentioned family pressure. Where exactly are your parents?
My father has passed away. My mother lives in Abuja. I am the first child, the first daughter, and the breadwinner, so naturally, I am the one my family looks up to. Their concern was understandable, considering cultural expectations.
How long did you talk before defining the relationship as serious, and how often did you communicate during that period?
I joined the dating app specifically to find someone I could settle down with. I wasn’t interested in a casual relationship. As an adult, I believe the talking stage shouldn’t be too long. If you know what you want and like someone, there’s no harm in moving forward.
Alex said he was looking for a wife. I was looking for a husband. I wouldn’t say I was actively searching, but I wanted a life partner. Our intentions aligned, so the connection became very quick.
We exchanged WhatsApp numbers on February 12, 2024. That same evening, we began talking more deeply. We shared pictures, discussed our lives, and he told me, ‘I need a wife, not a girlfriend.’ For me, it felt like a good vibe. From that moment, conversations about marriage, the future, and family became frequent.
When did money first come into the picture, and what reason did he give?
Just a few days after our conversations became serious, he said he wanted to build an investment hotel in Ondo town for a client, but he didn’t have enough capital to start.
He explained that the payment from clients was structured in stages. I trusted the information he shared because he spoke confidently about the process. The first transfer I made was N500,000 on February 18 or 19, 2024.
How did the amount grow from your first payment onward?
I didn’t send the money all at once. I made several payments over time, starting with N500,000, then N1m, N2m, N3m, N1.5m, N5m, N8m, and a few other amounts. I was sending bit by bit.
Each time, he explained that the money was needed for different stages of construction or materials. Since our conversations were about marriage and building a future together, I trusted him and believed I was supporting both our investment and our shared future.
Did you ever feel unsure about sending the money?
Yes, but only after the first N500,000. My instincts started warning me, but I ignored them. I told myself it was normal to feel doubt and that I was overthinking. I literally paid deaf ears to my instincts, even though I knew deep down something felt off.
Looking back, were there red flags you didn’t notice at the time?
Honestly, I have always believed God can use people to help others succeed. I come from a poor background, so I thought maybe he was someone God was using to help me. I didn’t recognise red flags. Even when I gave money, I believed it wasn’t wrong. I trusted his story, his manner, and my faith in divine provision.
How did you eventually discover it was a scam?
My instincts kept warning me, and over time, it became clear that I had been scammed. At one point, he contacted me to apologise and claimed he was no longer in Nigeria. He said he would start refunding my money and promised to send N100,000, but I only received N80,000. At that time, I was financially stranded, so I held on to the hope that he intended to repay me.
However, I soon stopped hearing from him. He deactivated his WhatsApp and other social media accounts. I later confirmed that he was still in Ondo State, Nigeria, and that the foreign number he used to contact me was fake.
On January 4, 2026, I posted his picture online. People reached out to me with information that exposed the truth. He was not a widower. The woman he introduced as his younger sister was actually his wife, and the children I thought were his relatives were his children. It became clear that he had been living a double life.
How did this affect you emotionally?
It was devastating. I was humiliated, betrayed, and emotionally shattered. I almost did something drastic, but thoughts of my mother and siblings gave me strength. As a believer, I chose to seek help and justice instead of letting despair take over. I was not seeking financial help; I wanted accountability.
Have you pursued legal action?
I want to, but legal processes require funds and proper guidance. He has connections and had allegedly done this before. People offered help, but they asked for money, which I don’t have. I want someone to guide me legally, safely, and transparently. He even sent people claiming to be lawyers and officials asking for evidence, but I blocked them because I felt it was unsafe.
How has this affected your life practically?
I could not pay my rent and I was evicted from my former house. I resigned from my corporate job because depression affected my work performance.
I am currently staying with a friend and managing my businesses.
I am 100% emotionally damaged. The betrayal, the fake love, and the involvement of his wife pretending to be a sister broke my trust completely. The experience has left scars, and trusting others feels very difficult now.
How did you learn his real name?
The account he used was Alex Ayobami Babalola
But when I posted his picture online, other women contacted me and said that was not his real name. His real name is Babalola Bankole. They even sent me his Facebook profile. It was shocking to discover.
What has this experience taught you as a person?
First, to put myself first. I should be a little selfish and prioritise my well-being. Second, I should never go out of my way for anyone again. Third, I need to continue loving myself more.
If I had loved myself earlier, I might not have made some decisions I did. Finally, I must make my own decisions without being overly influenced by societal expectations or other people’s opinions. I must trust myself.
What advice would you give women regarding online dating?
I would say no to online dating entirely. Emotions can blind you, and people can be deceptive. Women should never reveal their financial capacity or income sources to men. Protect yourself financially and emotionally. Verify everything independently. Speak out if you are being harmed. Silence only protects scammers.
What kind of justice are you seeking?
I want proper legal guidance. I want someone to hold my hand at the police station, help me report everything transparently, and make sure I am safe. He has sent people asking me for evidence, but I blocked them because I didn’t trust them. I want accountability, not revenge. I want the law to work for me and prevent him from harming others.
Punch