CKN Visits COZA Abuja..Take A Look Into My Experience

The name self sounds like one of those “short time” joints. .I mean, how will someone name his Church COZA?..COZA, if doubled, sounds coza coza (sharp sharp).
But that is not the issue; COZA has been in the news of late for the wrong reasons. Just like Kris Okotie’s Household of God’s Church, a particular Pastor in the Federal Capital Territory Abuja is also hitting the headlines.
His Church has become a beehive of activities, attracting all the fine babes and upwardly mobile young men in Abuja.
Commonwealth of Zion Assembly (What a name) is located right in the Central Area of Abuja.
It is directly behind Nanet Suites .To be specific, the worship centre is at the Thisday Dome, owned by Media guru Nduka Obiagbena of Thisday Newspaper.
Recently the General overseer of the Church was involved a sexual scandal involving him and one of his “lovely sister” sorry i mean Church member.
The lady went on all cylinders to portray the “man of God” as a randy man who goes after anything on skirt. Infact she said, the Pastor has tasted the “ozone layer” of practically all the babes in the Church.
Pastor Biodun as he is referred to is a smooth lovely young man in his 40s.His uniqueness and American style mode of worship is attracting the young and mighty in Abuja like ants after sugar.
Recently, he was said to have also acquired a Rolls Royce like his counterpart at Oregun.
With all these in mind,i made up my mind to hit COZA today for a worship of a lifetime.
My first disappointment on arriving Thisday Dome,COZA place of worship was that they have no parking space.
No vehicle was allowed about 500 meters to the gate. All vehicles were parked far away from the Church.The road leading to the Church was barricaded by five different vehicles.
Stationed at the beginning of the road were some fully armed soldiers and some other plain cloth security men.
At the entrance to the compound proper was a bomb scanning machine (just like the ones at the airports or banks)..You were expected to empty all metals with you including car keys,phones and Ipads etc.
After walking through the scanning machine, you now walk into the main hall of Thisday Dome,where you are welcomed by some of the most beautiful babes i have seen in Abuja.
They were all dressed in pink or is it yellow short gowns .
They have a smile for everyone, well chosen, spotless skin. Their smiles were infectious just like that lady in the Maclean television commercial.
I fancied one immediately, i clicked her an eye contact and she responded, but there were so many distracters on ground that prevented me from going for the kill, but i marked her down, i will be back i told myself.
I wanted her to usher me inside the Church by herself but one overzealous one that didn’t catch my fancy jumped in my front ,wanting to shake my hands, but i ignored her and moved on.
The Church was already in full session when i arrived,it was testimony time.I met the last testimony by a lady who spoke about how she was healed after several months of illness.
As it is customary with me,within a second,i have scanned the entire seat and made for one empty one beside one beautiful dame,the usher wanted to move me somewhere else and i refused.
The lady naturally beckon for me to join her..Smart babe i said to myself again..Haa,these COZA babes sabi catch man jare .I gave her a long smile which see replied with one of the best set of teeth i have ever seen in a long time.
Babes dey Coza abeg, with these type of ladies, why won’t Pastor Biodun fall a victim. Their looks can seduce any holy creature.
They were beautiful, smart, friendly, open handed, receptive and ready to compromise.
I settled down quickly and joined the flow of songs and clapping.
As we sat down,i saw the lady who i now realized was wearing a very very short mini skirt,trying to use a white handkerchief to cover her open laps which she noticed i was glaring at continuously .
She must have noticed that my gaze which could penetrate a fully clothed body.
When she couldn’t stand it any longer, she politely asked me why i was gazing at her laps,i told her ,there was no need covering such a lovely body with handkerchief, moreso since she has decided to come to Church half covered, what’s the essence of covering them.
She smiled and told that what’s in vogue,that i am a bush man...Whaooo, envogue,i asked her?..Does Pastor Biodun support these type of dressing i asked her, she said Pastor Biodun has nothing against any mode of dressing once you are comfortable with it.
I asked her if she was comfortable with what she was wearing and she said yes i then went for the kill, remove your handkerchief then and lets enjoy God’s creation. She didn’t know what to say.
She asked me if i was a first timer to the Church and i said YES..Her smile broadens again and she let go the cover cloth.
COZA is a very beautiful Church. The choir made of both young men and women was awesome. They sang like kenery, the stage was well lightened. The hall was full to capacity with an overflow.
I was looking out for the controversial Pastor but he was nowhere to be found..The Church is on a 12 days prayer and fasting.
All the female workers in the Church were well selected, a true reflection of what the lady that accused the Pastor of Sexual harassment once stated.
Their skirts were short but not too revealing.
At a point ,i was now asking myself why these modern day Pastors takes so much delight in going for young female Church members .How come Pastors Kris Okotie and Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo find these damsels very attractive that they easily forget the words of God.
How come they take so much delight in having canal knowledge of the daughters of eve even if it means ruining their callings.
COZA is not the best of place to be , because the temptation is just too much.
It seems all the beautiful babes in Abuja converged in that place to seek for things i don’t know.
When it was time for Sermon, a young mounted the stage, my disappointment was now complete, its obvious today is not going to be my day.
He went on to announce that the Senior Pastor was not around for service today but that he will be back in the days ahead.
He went ahead to preach on prosperity and joy of given.
According to him, Ecclesiates Chapter 10:19 stated that “Money Answereth Everything”,that with money you can get all the good things of life including cars,women etc..No wonder his Senior Pastor is in the news for the wrong reasons i muted.
He went on “this year all those of you that are looking for the fruits of the womb will become pregnant..All those who were into relationship last year will get married this year. All those that were disappointed in business will smile this year. blablabla.
The preaching was the same. The audience was the difference.
I was told Pastor Biodun is a powerful dresser..He loves cars and women to piece. He is also very generous .According to the lady that sat beside me,there is no way you will meet Pastor without melting and “falling for him” even if he doesn’t toast you. The guy fine die, she stated.
 After service, i left quickly to look for that babe at the entrance.
She was waiting for me already,i told her as a new convert to the Church, i will need more personal home preaching to convince me to continue coming to Church.
She was more than happy to oblige me. We exchanged number,to meet at our Chicken Nkwobi joint later this evening
I look forward to that wonderful home bible study.I want to learn a thing or two or even try those stunts that Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo is noted for with his female Church members
Who knows, i may be in for a good time in the presence of the Lord via COZA in the days and weeks ahead.
But I will not rest until i meet Pastor Biodun one on one. Till then ,i rest my case .CKN
 
 

CKN NEWS

Chris Kehinde Nwandu is the Editor In Chief of CKNNEWS || He is a Law graduate and an Alumnus of Lagos State University, Lead City University Ibadan and Nigerian Institute Of Journalism || With over 2 decades practice in Journalism, PR and Advertising, he is a member of several Professional bodies within and outside Nigeria || Member: Institute Of Chartered Arbitrators ( UK ) || Member : Institute of Chartered Mediators And Conciliation || Member : Nigerian Institute Of Public Relations || Member : Advertising Practitioners Council of Nigeria || Fellow : Institute of Personality Development And Customer Relationship Management || Member and Chairman Board Of Trustees: Guild Of Professional Bloggers of Nigeria

7 Comments

  1. So, your reasons for going from church to church these days is to confirm your suspicions about things heard and not to worship God, huh? Itsorait.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This CKN has issues o! So, you remove comments you don't like?

    ReplyDelete
  3. This CKN has issues o! So, you remove comments you don't like?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Is dat accusation true?CKN

    ReplyDelete
  5. Let GOD be truth, and all men be liars!
    HE is never deceived or mocked.
    Salvation is personal.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hahahahaha! Reading dis piece got me laffing really hard.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Ckn after this I will uninstall your app on my phone... I advise you remove this post it only pot rays the extent of your stupidity.

    ReplyDelete
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